To test or not to test
Yesterday I took Courtney for her follow up VCUG (a test to see if she still has bladder reflux) and she does on her right side. We then took the test results to the urologist and he recommended she have another surgery to fix the remaining problem. We knew this was a possibility and so her surgery is scheduled for March 15th. I may be venting more than anything, so bear with me. This coming Monday she has a sedated ABR (auditory brain stem response) hearing test to see if she has some hearing loss because she has failed some hearing tests the ENT had done on her. Okay, I can handle this too. But yesterday on top of the all the urology issues, we noticed one of her ear tubes has fallen out and is sitting in her ear canal (just got them two months ago) and her speech pathologist recommended that we have a swallow study done on her because she tends to "choke" (she gags and coughs) more often while eating or drinking her bottle.
As a mother I just don't know when enough is enough. Enough radiation, enough surgeries, enough sedation, ENOUGH. I'm just trying to figure out if this is all to her benefit or just my convenience. I called my mom in frustration this morning and she of coarse gave me her usual advise of "three slow deep breaths." I have yet to benefit from these breaths, but I'm trying! I know Courtney's problems are not as serious as what many people may face and are pretty minor in the long scheme of things, but never the less, this is what I am dealing with today and I just needed to write it all down to help me get through my day and also have it in my blog archive so I can look back months from now and laugh at how big of a freak I was this morning! Okay... I can do this!
5 comments:
Hang in there, Stacie! You are a great mom. Courtney is probably thinking the same thing...Enough is Enough!
Love, Meg
Hey Stacie-
I hope you don't think this is wierd, but I got a link to your blog through Ashley (Boyack)Kelly and hope you don't think I am being nosy. First off, I hope all is going well with your family. You and Dustin have adorable children. The reason I am commenting, is because my oldest son Camden was born deaf, or hard of hearing, and we've been through alot of what you guys are about to embark on--ABRs, hearing aids, speech therapy, and testing, testing, testing. I am sure you guys have tons of questions and I know our situations are different, but I would love to help answer any that I can. Having and raising a child with a disability has been the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, but also the most rewarding. If there is anything I can ever do. . . My e-mail is amyplantrossi@hotmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. And our blog is rossifam.blogspot.com
Thanks,
Amy Plant Rossi
Stac! I love ya and pray that you can be comforted in all this. You have every right to feel like this, you are her mother!
I don't blame you for saying enough is enough. You are such a great mom and this trial will make you and Courtney that much stronger. Hang in there!
Love,
Becca
I'm so sad for you, it never seems fair, I wish somehow we could divide the problems equally among us because you definately didn't get your fair share. Maybe your the only super mom out there who could handle all this? The rest of us might have cracked along time ago.
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