I still believe in MIRACLES!

Happy 1st Birthday Mary Cate!

Today my little miss Mary Cate turns ONE! I can't even believe it. A couple days ago I was telling a friend of mine all about the experience of her birth and darn near broke into tears. Just thinking about all the pain & discomfort I was in makes me nauseous. Nothing about her birth was expected or routine. It was an absolutely awful situation that turned into one of the most spiritual and beautiful things that has ever happened to me.

I know most of you know her story, but for stories sake, I just want to write down what I remember most. I was incredibly sick the day she was born. I'd been in and out of the hospital for almost 2 weeks with a laundry list of complications and little did we know, Mary was more sick than I. My sweet grandparents, who were staying at my house taking care of me had taken me into the hospital the day before because the baby was hardly moving at all. Her fetal heart tones were stable enough to not cause much alarm. We later learned that by the time you pick up fetal distress on the monitor due to congestive heart failure, it is usually too late to save the baby. Dust had slept at the hospital with me that night before and headed off to work that morning. I was all ready to spend my day reading, watching TV, doing whatever to pass the time until my scheduled c-section the following afternoon.

My perinatologist rounded that morning on me around 10am. I had just seen him two days previously in his office for an aminocentsis and all seemed fine with Mary. I know he was inspired by the spirit that morning when decided to look at her via ultra sound for no other reason than he just "felt like it". As I was watching his face watch the screen, my stomach sank. His cheerful look quickly turned turned to one of deep concern. He told me right then that my baby was in congestive heart failure, was very very sick and needed to be delivered as soon as my OB/GYN could get to the hospital. He kept talking, but I don't really remember what else he said beyond that. About three nurses came into my room and started buzzing around talking to eachother and to him. I couldn't tell you what they were saying, only that the feeling in the room was one of controlled panic.

The rest of the day was mostly a blur. I truly don't remember much of it after that point. I remember lying in the OR, waiting my for doctor to arrive. I remember when he pulled her out he said she had a lot of fluid on her and handed her straight over the NICU team. I remember Dustin staying with her the whole time until she left the hospital. As I drifted in and out of sleep afterward, I remember both of my grandparents sitting in my room by my side until the transport team brought Mary in. This was the only time I saw her and it was for about 2 minutes. I remember feeling like I had no clue what was going on with her. I vaguely remember both my parents and Dustin's parents showing up that night.

More than details though, I distictly remember the feelings this whole experience left me with. Gratitude, humility, faith beyond words and love. I heard from so many dear friends and family members during this time. My mom and Dustin's mom dropped everything (literally) to help take care of us. My ward, who barely even knew us, was always checking in with us to see what they could do. As I slowly recovered and as she even more slowly recovered, 32 days later, and after many, many, many prayers on our behalf, we were able to bring Mary Cate home. She's been a normal, healthy baby ever since. She is and always will be our miracle baby. Happy 1st Birthday Mary Cate Malulani Goodrich, this is truly a day to celebrate YOU!

This is shortly after she was born. You can see all the fluid she had on her little body. I never posted this picture of Mary because it made me too sad. It still makes me sad looking at it, but also so happy because it reminds me just how strong she is and what she had to overcome!

This is a good picture of all the different lines and monitors she had on her.

Our beautiful little girl now!